It's noon and this morning has been one of those mornings I'd just rather forget. I'll make a disclaimer at this point, however, that my problems are probably inconsequential compared to the problems of others. But these are my problems, and I cannot seem to step away and view their absolute magnitude, I can only see their relative magnitude. End disclaimer.
This morning Elijah was up early (5:30), and as the cat was acting squirrely I decided I might as well get up and try to get him back to sleep. I knew that this was a one way ticket out of bed for me, but I took on the responsibility knowing that sometimes there is only so much a mother can take. So it was an early start, and Elijah was not really interested in sleep. He has come a long way in the past 7 weeks, though and he was content to sit relatively quietly while I bounced on the exercise ball and watch the early morning news. By quarter to 7 mom was up and feeding him so I went about my day. Unfortunately, I had neglected to turn on the dishwasher last night, so my orange juice container was not clean as I had planned. And the water jug was empty, so even after cleaning the container, my OJ was still warm. I hate that. By this time I knew it was going to be a bad day, and yet for some reason I still went off to my car service appointment as planned. This was a bad idea. New O2 sensor, radiator flush and oil change later I drove out of there $500 lighter in the pocket. Although when that $500 isn't even in my pocket I'm not sure how it could be lighter. Anyway, I have resigned myself to the fact that I cannot expect our car to not need a little work once and a while to keep it running well. It has over 100,000 miles on it and I hope to keep it long after a new Saturn has graced our driveway. But what with that and paying for tickets to Calgary (I don't know why we even bother with points if it costs so much to use them) I have no idea where we are going to get the money to cover everything. Savings was cleared out last month for taxes and my income level is not going anywhere for the next 6 months. "When it rains it pours" I guess, which is ironic because it is raining here today and will be for the next few days, meaning I can't even get out to run to forget about money. And even when I do run, it won't be in a new pair of shoes, and it won't be in the Bolder Boulder. To top everything off, I get to work and find out that my copy of Tiger will not be delivered tomorrow after all. It's getting pushed to Tuesday, and then who knows when.
I thought it would help to get this all off my chest, but it hasn't. This morning still sucks, and the afternoon ain't looking much better. On the bright side though, the afternoon is not looking much worse either. No scotch for me tonight, I don't like to drink when I'm depressed. I can feel sorry enough for myself when I'm sober.